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Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 6:49 pm
by oldjerry
You couldn't say anything to me or about me that could possibly offend,but just read through the posts clearly many women are intimidated by percieved male attitudes towards their bodies to the extent that they feel they cant feed their infants in public.While someone of my generation and gender might laugh off what anyone else thinks, this has to be a consideration.

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 7:06 pm
by southeast-isher
They shouldn't worry about what other people think. People will talk whatever.

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 7:08 pm
by southeast-isher
And besides, many men are intimidated by percieved female attitudes towards their bodies. TV shows like Loose Women don't help...

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 7:22 pm
by sammyh
2 wrongs do not make a right.

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 7:53 pm
by southeast-isher
sammyh wrote:2 wrongs do not make a right.
You're right they don't always but i felt i wanted to prove my point.

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 7:54 pm
by southeast-isher
I think the only way would be to eradicate pornography and air-brushing of models in magazines. Oh, and photos of celebrities. These things, unfortunately, are unlikely to happen.

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 7:56 pm
by southeast-isher
southeast-isher wrote:They shouldn't worry about what other people think. People will talk whatever.
This is the only solution in my eyes unless the impossible happens. People will still buy the magazines, covet the celebrities, etc

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 8:12 pm
by Susie
This isn't about celebrities, body image in general, Loose Women or anything like that. It's a thread where someone said she wasn't feeling comfortable/ supported in breastfeeding the way she wanted. In that context (indeed, in lots of contexts), 'I love breasts!' isn't a brilliant response.

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 8:15 pm
by southeast-isher
Susie wrote:This isn't about celebrities, body image in general, Loose Women or anything like that. It's a thread where someone said she wasn't feeling comfortable/ supported in breastfeeding the way she wanted. In that context (indeed, in lots of contexts), 'I love breasts!' isn't a brilliant response.
What shall i lie and say i hate breasts?! Do you want me to be disgusted by them so when women breastfeed i am horrified? No, i love funbags. And it is about body image and celebrities, isn't it? How women are portrayed in the media? Surely.

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 8:15 pm
by sammyh
Thank you for saying what I was trying to, far more precisly and eloquently.

edit: meant susie, obs.

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 8:29 pm
by southeast-isher
You see it's idiots like me that you're going to have to put up with if breastfeeding. In all seriousness, i haven't a problem with it at all. I'd probably look away, that's all - but you wouldn't want people staring. I may feel slightly uncomfortable but hey it's something [breastfeeding] that you have to do. It's natural.

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:08 pm
by JuzaMum
Helsbells wrote:disappointed to say that I have not been able to openly breastfeed in public having been encouraged by my husband and friends to drape a blanket over my shoulder to hide myself. I didn't like it, I wanted to look at my baby's face.
Breast fed in the back seat of the car and felt very self concious with people walking by. Don't feel confident at all about breastfeeding in public now. The expectation seems to be that you will hide under a blanket.
Hi Hels

I am sorry you feel discouraged - maybe your husband is a little uncomfortable with the thought of others possibly seeing your breasts after all this is a new experience for him too.
I consider myself an 'experienced' breastfeeder now and I have never had any negative comments or letching. I have fed in shops, cafes, in parks, on public transport and the only comments I get are along the lines of how nice it is to see a mum feeding her baby naturally. The only ones who stare are small children who are just curious. Some people are uncomfortable and look away but never have complained.
When my youngest son was new I borrowed (then bought) a ring sling from my local breast feeding group. It is great, you can nurse a small baby and noone will know what you are doing - sometimes people don't even realise you are carrying a baby! It also keeps the sun out little ones' eyes and you can always peek in you see their beautiful face :love7:
The more mums who nurse in public the more new mums will feel able to nurse in public and the more 'normal' it will become.
Try to keep going - I promise it gets easier.
I know some of the guys on here have made a few jokey comments but I am sure that's all they are - just trying to be lighthearted about the whole thing.

JuzaMum

P.S. Once I answered the door a delivery man whilst nursing, I popped a muslin over so he couldn't see anything but you could tell what was going on. He was so flustered (but polite) he forgot to get me to sign for the parcel and had to come back (still red faced).

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:30 pm
by Zech
southeast-isher wrote:
Susie wrote:This isn't about celebrities, body image in general, Loose Women or anything like that. It's a thread where someone said she wasn't feeling comfortable/ supported in breastfeeding the way she wanted. In that context (indeed, in lots of contexts), 'I love breasts!' isn't a brilliant response.
What shall i lie and say i hate breasts?! Do you want me to be disgusted by them so when women breastfeed i am horrified? No, i love funbags. And it is about body image and celebrities, isn't it? How women are portrayed in the media? Surely.
No, no it's not. Whilst appreciating your later comment, I feel the need to explain the difference here. The issue of body image, celebrities, airbrushed photos, etc. is about women feeling that their bodies don't live up to some 'ideal' of what a female body should look like. On the other hand, one important reason that women feel uncomfortable breastfeeding in public is a fear that men will see exposed (even very slightly exposed) breasts in a sexual way, rather than a feeding-baby way. A women can feel entirely happy with her body, including the size and shape of her breasts, and still not want to be viewed sexually when feeding her baby.

Saying 'I love breasts' and referring to them as funbags puts them firmly in the sexual category, not the baby-feeding category. This is intimidating to a women who feels embarrassed about 'exposing herself' in public.

To put it another way, I might be quite proud of my breasts, but that doesn't mean I want to show them to you!

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:52 pm
by southeast-isher
Zech wrote:
southeast-isher wrote:
Susie wrote:This isn't about celebrities, body image in general, Loose Women or anything like that. It's a thread where someone said she wasn't feeling comfortable/ supported in breastfeeding the way she wanted. In that context (indeed, in lots of contexts), 'I love breasts!' isn't a brilliant response.
What shall i lie and say i hate breasts?! Do you want me to be disgusted by them so when women breastfeed i am horrified? No, i love funbags. And it is about body image and celebrities, isn't it? How women are portrayed in the media? Surely.
No, no it's not. Whilst appreciating your later comment, I feel the need to explain the difference here. The issue of body image, celebrities, airbrushed photos, etc. is about women feeling that their bodies don't live up to some 'ideal' of what a female body should look like. On the other hand, one important reason that women feel uncomfortable breastfeeding in public is a fear that men will see exposed (even very slightly exposed) breasts in a sexual way, rather than a feeding-baby way. A women can feel entirely happy with her body, including the size and shape of her breasts, and still not want to be viewed sexually when feeding her baby.

Saying 'I love breasts' and referring to them as funbags puts them firmly in the sexual category, not the baby-feeding category. This is intimidating to a women who feels embarrassed about 'exposing herself' in public.

To put it another way, I might be quite proud of my breasts, but that doesn't mean I want to show them to you!
Well if women are portrayed in the media as sex objects sometimes yet are happy with their bodies... then i see my point as being right unless you can convince me otherwise.

Re: Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:53 pm
by southeast-isher
Saying 'I love breasts' and referring to them as funbags puts them firmly in the sexual category, not the baby-feeding category. This is intimidating to a women who feels embarrassed about 'exposing herself' in public.
It's like exposure therapy, exposing you to your fear (of breasts as sexual objects) so eventually the fear subsides. Like a CBT technique.