Managing other peoples expectations ?

[Thomzo]

Having done several house renovations over the years, my classic put down now is "finish it, oh I don't want to finish it just yet. Then I'd have to sell it and move on to the next one".

That usually shuts them up.

If it doesn't then I start on the horror stories. Like the time when I was replacing the windows in the living room and the ceiling collapsed. Or the time when I was sat in the bath and it fell through the floor. Or the time when I came home to find a hole in the bathroom ceiing, or the time.....

They soon start snoring, especially if you tell the same stories often enough.

Zoe

[The Riff-Raff Element]

Mrs Bling is French! She's 'only' a baker's wife as well. The other English family in our hamlet are just as scruffy as we are as he's a builder and she's horsey and grows veg too and lives in horse snot covered jods. But what's awful about the bakers/blings is that the other French in the hamlet are full of admiration of their 'beautiful' house and garden, but I guess they live how they have always lived yet we incoming English chose to live this kind of life. Perhaps if we'd been like the Blings we might not have been so well accepted?

I'm so glad I haven't met any civil servant expat types of the English variety.

The only really bling lady is the notaire's wife. But she's very likable.

We really don't have that many non-French in this or neighbouring communes. A bit to the north, well, it's a different story. I hear the tales sometimes.

But we do have one couple who talk endlessly about their time in the far flung corners of the Empire and drop none-too-subtle hints about their interest in swinging. God knows what they expected when they moved here

[MuddyWitch]

MR Muddywitch's suggestion: 'We could do it quickly, but we'd rather do it right!'

MW

[Millymollymandy]

Mrs Bling is French! She's 'only' a baker's wife as well. The other English family in our hamlet are just as scruffy as we are as he's a builder and she's horsey and grows veg too and lives in horse snot covered jods. But what's awful about the bakers/blings is that the other French in the hamlet are full of admiration of their 'beautiful' house and garden, but I guess they live how they have always lived yet we incoming English chose to live this kind of life. Perhaps if we'd been like the Blings we might not have been so well accepted?

I'm so glad I haven't met any civil servant expat types of the English variety.

The only really bling lady is the notaire's wife. But she's very likable.

We really don't have that many non-French in this or neighbouring communes. A bit to the north, well, it's a different story. I hear the tales sometimes.

But we do have one couple who talk endlessly about their time in the far flung corners of the Empire and drop none-too-subtle hints about their interest in swinging. God knows what they expected when they moved here

Ha ha they should have moved to Brittany - I hear there are quite a few threads on Anglo Info Brittany about swingers.....

[red]

I have the perfect one liner for you, Susie. If you really want, I'll PM it to you. But there's really no need, because you already know what it is. And you don't actually need to say it. The trick is to think it while you're actually saying "Well, we've had problems that most people wouldn't even begin to understand ...". And smile sweetly.

Makes you feel a whole lot better.

Mike

have to agree with Mike here


i think the thing is - other people wont get it. so get used to that. and let their comments bounce of your as much as you can ..and get back to enjoying it

[boboff]

Yep, definately the only long term solution. Don't give a monkeys about what they think.

Its hard though, my Dad and OH's parents do just the same.

Given I am a house husband, I am expected to have on going "projects" building, moving, changing, if I was a woman I would not.

They forget I volunteer, I have a job, and I have a house and kids to cook and clean for.

Still, it's my issue, the guilt I feel is mine to own.

[Thomzo]

And, of course, it's entirely possible that, while you find it irritating, they just think that they are showing polite interest. You could try to not be defensive and answer their questions fully, explain what's involved in each job and they might realise why it takes so long.

Zoe