Etiquette

[the.fee.fairy]

So...On sunday night i went on a date with a very pleasant man. Very pleasant...

Having been out of the 'game' so to speak for such a long time, i really don't know what the correct etiquette is any more. I'd like to see him again, and i believe that he'd like to see me...so how the hell do i go about finding out without seeming desperate (which, by the way, i am not!).

Is it really true that you should leave 3 days or whatever it is?!

Arg...i now realise why i've been single for so long!

[StripyPixieSocks]

Well to be honest etiquette be blown, if you like him and he likes you he won't think you are desperate in suggesting meeting again he will love the idea!

Call him and tell him you had a wonderful evening (?) and would love to do it again sometime soon when he's free.

That way you are just ringing up to tell him you had a good time, enjoyed his company and then the merest suggestion of doing it again! ;)

Good luck though, I remember what I was like after 16 years of not being 'in the game'... I was terrified but everything turned out wonderfully and I'm sure (and I hope) it will for you too!

[Millymollymandy]

Go for it Fee! I don't recall there ever being any real etiquette anyway (gosh my last date was such a long time ago! I'd freak now if I had to go on one now! ) Anyway the last date .... then there was the next date and then he suggested I spend the weekend with him - I said shouldn't we slow things down a bit, it's all happening a bit fast? - he said NO! and look what happened - we got married.

[Clara]

Ugh I think that 3 day thing is part of something called "the rules"...another "rule" being that you shouldn´t accept a weekend invitation after wednesday (lest it seems like you have no life ) - I´ve never known it work for anyone. I agree with the PP who said call to say thank you and that you´d like to do it again when he´s free - he could be at home wondering but not wanting to call lest he seems like a stalker

[JulieSherris]

Yep, I agree too Fee!

Rules are there to be broken aren't they?? And anyway, life's too short.

I met my hubby during an internet week-long bash that I helped to organise.... the plan was to fix him up with my mate who stayed the week with me.... I even moved outta my bedroom for them
Anyway, that plan went out the window & everyone went home on the sunday after a great week.
He got online to me on the sunday night - drove 340 miles to visit on the thursday - and moved in totally the following sunday!!

We got married after 6 months & have just celebrated our 10th anniversary - so, Fee - sod the rules!!
Go for it sweetie, you might not want to seem desperate - but neither might he - and one of you has to make the first move.... might as well be you!!
Start off as you mean to go on & he'll accept you as the boss in no time

[The Riff-Raff Element]

OK, male perspective granted, but also sod the the rules. It is enormously flattering to be called.

Just for the record, I asked my wife to marry me ten days after meeting her. That was 15 years ago and she still hasn't found me out. Or maybe she has and still puts up with me.

[invisiblepiper]

Aww how lovely!
Yes - stuff the 'rules' a pleasant thankyou will not hurt.

[Andy Hamilton]

I too was a little out of the whole dating thing when I met Emma. We had one "date" where we both got drunk and she stayed over and never left. Well I do have to point out that she lived downstairs in our student house, so she was already there.

I am guessing you have phoned him by now, so how did it go??

[StripyPixieSocks]

I met my OH on MySpace, after chatting for two weeks I went out one night and got drunk with friends... two bottles of red wine suddenly gave me the great idea that I would e-mail him and declare my love for him!

I got up the next morning without a clue to find a e-mail waiting for me saying something along the lines of "that's nice, I'm going away for the weekend, speak when I get back"

I though I'd blown it even though said e-mail I sent just said"I think I love you" only spelled really badly

I agonised all through the weekend and then he got back to me on the Monday we chatted... 4 weeks later he came up to visit me while I was stopping with my parents and two weeks after that I was living in London with him... that was almost 3 years ago now

[Milims]

Oooh I love threads like these - it's really exciting waiting for the next installment!
Anyway Fee - as has already been said - go for it! Nothing ventured nothing gained! If your kindness and politeness is appreciated then fantastic - and if it isn't then he wasn't a good'un anyway - so he didn't really deserves someone as lovely as you!
So - have you done the deed? How did it go? Is there and emoticon for excited anticipation???

[oldfella]

What is Etiquetic, is that something that you should do, according to gods knows whose rules, and not what you want to do, so girl do the sensible thing and go with your rules, and stuff god knows who.

If you see wot I mean.

[Green Aura]

What's all this rubbish about rules? We're women of the 21st century!!!

I seduced my OH in the back of a van on the way home from a Militant meeting 24 years ago, we weren't drunk and he's 10 years younger than me .

I've never really been one for following rules - maybe that's why (or maybe because) no-one tells me what they are

Anyway, fee, you go for it - if he's so hung up on whether you're breaking the rules he'll run a mile and you're best out of it - if not could be on the way. Or at least another pleasant date.

[Green Aura]

I should point out that he was legal

[Rosendula]

Stop pussy-footing about and

ring the man!

[Lady Willow]

Do you want him to play "the game" with you? No? Then don't play any with him.

Be upfront and bold - tell him what a lovely time you had and maybe suggest a couple of follow on dates (cinema, meal out, etc)

You could have done a lot of dating to find a very pleasant men indeed - count your blessings and spend the time you could have wasted finding him well.

How exciting!!! Keep us posted