Selfsufficientish.com

Just made the difficult decision not to go to a wedding in Lisbon in July, the reason is cost and my inability to compromise my objection to catching a plane.

The idea was originally to get the Eurostar to Paris, spend the day the there before going down to Montpellier for a couple of days. then spending some time in Barcelona, Madrid and finally Lisbon and getting the ferry back after the wedding from Santander to Portsmouth. But costs just spiraled and so a compromise almost came into place. Ferry there and back and just going to Santander for a few days and getting the train direct to Lisbon. Still this was going to cost £1700 between us.

So now Emma is just going and it will cost her about £300 and we are having a holiday elsewhere. It does seem a shame to miss the wedding and the chance to meet all the family but.... why spend all that money, well overdraft really on a holiday that I did not really choose. Question is have I done the right thing and shoudl I have flown too. It's now been about 5 or 6 years since I last flew.

Can't answer that for you honey. It's not a huge decision for me - I'd choose more or less anything over flying. I'm not scared and I've done it when necessary - I just don't like it.

It's a shame you can't make it but, I think, holidays are precious and should be what you want to do.

It depends how important those people are to you.

Planes still fly even if you choose not to use them. Might as well be filling the seats! And think of that lovely sunshine!:D

Principles sometimes don't come cheap. I don't think anyone would berate someone for taking a flight when it was "absolutely" necessary. It's the definition of "absolutely" that can be a little on the flexible side. I'm impressed with your fortitude.

I`m impressed too.
My OH and I stopped flying a few years ago for environmental reasons. I have a sister and family in Florida and it`s been hard to resist their invitations to family occasions. We`ve managed it, though.
However, my stepson is going to live in Nova Scotia later this year.
It`s going to be really tricky to say that we`re not going to see him, especially as he`s going by himself.

Some interesting comments and in fact much the same as I hear off my friends. Riff raff's rang true, morals don't come cheap you are right. Emma's sister summed it up. If a vegetarian had a burger just once, then had another one just once. (ie a flight there and back) then are they still a vegetarian?

As for what the people mean to me. Well it is the family of my girlfriend of almost 8 years so I guess my family now really. Despite only having met the bride and groom once it is the first big family do I have been invited to, so it is slightly bad form not going. Although, I am moving up to Edinburgh (where they are mostly from) at some point in the next year or two so I will meet them all.

Anyhow, overnight we sat down and had a talk about what we would really like to do. We have decided to have a holiday for longer in Holland instead.

A hard decision. I hope I can be as strong when I need to be.
Have a great Dutch holiday!

You should be able to do it for much less than £1,700. I too don't like planes very much for a number of reasons (environmental, one aborted take off, one aborted landing whilst wheels on runway!) but I also like warm weather and exploring different cultures/countries/food etc.

We were stranded in Spain during the ash cloud and had to make our way back to Scotland overland and this is what it cost for a family of 3.

3 day car hire from south to north spain €100 plus fuel €70
Train from San Sebastian to Hendaye in France €30
Overnight sleeper train from Hendaye to Paris €250
Train from Paris to Brussells €200
Train from Brussells to Brugge then Zeebrugge €50
Ferry to Edinburgh €250

To keep the costs down you could camp along the way and turn it into a holiday. We did this in 5 days because we had to get home for work/school etc but if we had planned it we could have travelled off peak to keep costs down and visited some nice places along the way.

Andy, I missed my brothers wedding for a very similar reason.

It was going to cost us £1000, and that was flying, which I didn't want to do and I never have done (on principle). I think the price came in at £2000 for us to go overland.
It was in Spain (neither of us speak spanish)
It was the height of summer (I don't cope well in the heat)
We had a 9 month old baby

I love my brother dearly and I was terribly sad to miss his special day. But if people choose to get married in far off lands they are going to have to deal with the fact that some people can't make it.

Not flying for me is a principle, the planes being "in the air anyway" is like eating meat because the animal was dead already.

Hi, what about a ferry to Bilbao and train from there. We went a couple of years ago on the ferry with the Sun newspaper vouchers for about £30 each. Might be worth finding out the cost.

Ooops sorry, just re read your post and it was an option you had already looked at. However it is an offer that the Sun runs quite regularly so might be worth keeping your eyes open.

TheGoodEarth wrote:You should be able to do it for much less than £1,700. I too don't like planes very much for a number of reasons (environmental, one aborted take off, one aborted landing whilst wheels on runway!) but I also like warm weather and exploring different cultures/countries/food etc.

We were stranded in Spain during the ash cloud and had to make our way back to Scotland overland and this is what it cost for a family of 3.

3 day car hire from south to north spain €100 plus fuel €70
Train from San Sebastian to Hendaye in France €30
Overnight sleeper train from Hendaye to Paris €250
Train from Paris to Brussells €200
Train from Brussells to Brugge then Zeebrugge €50
Ferry to Edinburgh €250

To keep the costs down you could camp along the way and turn it into a holiday. We did this in 5 days because we had to get home for work/school etc but if we had planned it we could have travelled off peak to keep costs down and visited some nice places along the way.

Blimey we must have passed by along the way - I was on hols and stayed in Hendaye and San Sebastian, at Hondarribia (beside Hendaye) the airport had just opened up again as we saw flights taking off from there, that was the morning of 19th April. Might have been cheaper to wait a few days!

Can't comment on costs
but we didn't attend our elder son's wedding in california, nor did we attend our younger son's wedding in the caribbean because we don't want to fly, and couldn't afford it.
still bestest friends with them and our daughters in law too BTW

I applaud you for sticking to your principles Andy
we gave money we did have towards the wedding reception party that the youngest had in Dorset, and a similar amount to the eldest when they bought their first house, in my mind much better than borrowing money to give to the airlines.