Just for a laugh.

[Jandra]

Got it

[doofaloofa]

Hands across the ocean man!

[Crickleymal]

Can I post one with some swearing in?

[doofaloofa]

Can I post one with some swearing in?

Go on

[Crickleymal]

Ok then.

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled her immensely.

At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took
her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the bank the next day to open a savings account.
At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.
'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.'
'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the house again next week?'
The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:

'I think so. Provided those wankers at Jewsons deliver the f**king bricks on time.'

[diggernotdreamer]

made me laugh

[oldfella]

A guy asked a girl in a library:
“Do you mind if I sit beside you”?

The girl answered with a loud voice:
"I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!"

All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and she told him
“I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, -I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”

The guy responded with a loud voice: "£200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!? THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!"
And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears;

“I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty"

[doofaloofa]

My dogs got no nose...

It does'nt matter

[oldjerry]

I've got a new job playing triangle in a reggae band...





I just stand at the back and ting..........

(coat).

[oldfella]

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/attachme ... 1371021155

[Puddleduck]

Fnar, funny stuff!!

Two pieces of string go into a bar, the barman says 'we don't serve string' but they continue in regardless. The barman asks the first one, 'Are you a piece of string?'. The first piece says yes and gets sent on his way. The barman asks the second piece of string the same question, 'Are you a piece of string?', and he answers, 'No I'm a frayed knot'....

*tumbleweeds*

[doofaloofa]

Whats brown and sticky?

[diggernotdreamer]

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick?

[doofaloofa]

Touche

[Carltonian Man]

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick?

What's yellow and smells like bananas?





...Monkey sick