Competitive gardening for a TV show

[Zech]

In case anyone's interested, a TV company "are looking for pairs who have the skills and the dedication to compete to be the nation's best kitchen gardener. Someone who can cultivate the perfect carrot, make their green tomatoes into award winning chutney and turn their dahlias and sweet peas into floral arrangements fit for a Queen."
http://www.lostintv.com/tv-show?id=407

[diggernotdreamer]

I agree with you Susi G, makes me want to have another one of my little tea breaks (that would be the 20th today then) with a nice biccy or little cakey (home made of course)

[okra]

It might be somebodies cup of tea, but we have no wish to compare our carrots or chutney with anybody.

[Flo]

Some of us will just be glad to grow owt for the kitchen after last summer.

[Broad Bean]

Who defines the perfect carrot anyway? The supermarkets would have you to believe that its one that's perfectly straight of uniform length etc where as people that grow to eat (rather than the bizarre world of showing which doesn't seem to have anything to do with food to me) know that it's a taste thing and that's subjective anyway.

[Flo]

Who defines the perfect carrot anyway?

The judge of the competition who is always right. And there is never any querying the decisions of the judges even if it's wrong as all show gardeners know.

[Zech]

Who defines the perfect carrot anyway? The supermarkets would have you to believe that its one that's perfectly straight of uniform length etc where as people that grow to eat (rather than the bizarre world of showing which doesn't seem to have anything to do with food to me) know that it's a taste thing and that's subjective anyway.

Hear, hear!

I have to say, the advert is the kind of thing to have me running screaming for the hills*, but I thought I'd share it just in case anyone fancied being on telly.

*Oh hang on, I'm already in the hills. That's all right then!

[Skippy]

The producers of these sorts of programmes aren't of course looking for gardeners that actually work as "pairs" , they will more than likely want a pair that is constantly arguing about which fertilizer to use or which plants are weeds or when to plant your sprouts. Discord brings in higher viewing figures than harmony. There is a similiar type of programme called "wife swap" (mine watches it occasionaly) where two couples swap partners for a week. Normally it results in frayed tempers and out bursts but a few years ago one episode was panned because the couples simply got on together, I can remember reading about the terrible episode in the press.
Make up your own sentance out of the following,
Barge pole.
Touch it.
Don't.


Pete

[sleepyowl]

The only TV competition that thrived on the competitors not being evil was the Great British Bake Off

[oldjerry]

I'm sure that most people,like I do, only tune in to wonder at Mary Berry's false gnashers,..a true work of art.

[the.fee.fairy]

You're right that they want either people who will argue, have no prior knowledge of what they're doing, or who are completely inept.

Super.niki and I applied to be on that farmer programme. We didn't get through.

When we watched it, we realised why - all the people on the programme had no idea about farming, no idea about keeping animals and not a clue what to do at any turn. Niki and I would have won for actually knowing a bit about the subject!! We're also very similar, so we would have come up with plans together and agreed on them rather than taking hours on end arguing over small details.

We would have LOVED living in a caravan in a field as well!!

I might have to send her the link though...you never know...

[Crickleymal]

Totally agree, the TV companies don't want competance in this sort of show - they want "good TV" defined by them as arguing couples, people who fail to deliver on time, multiple crises and so on. I remember seeing one on iron age farming about 10 or so years back where they got a group of people to live in a roundhouse at Castell Henllys. Now a friend and me reckoned we could have done far better because we would have been organised, wouldn't have argued and would have been able to get on with the job without getting food poisoning.