Being honest with people

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Potter's Farm
Barbara Good
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Location: Adamstown, Co. Wexford, Ireland

Being honest with people

Post: # 265923Post Potter's Farm »

I decided that this year, i would be completely honest with people. Not that i was a dishonest person before.
Its not as easy as i thought. I've completely stopped telling little white lies....'No, your bum doesn't look big in that' ........'that dinner was delicious'...and so on, I have even spoken to a dear friend who had upset me when i would have bitten my tounge and seethed before. We now have an even better friendship.
The problem is with someone i vaguely knew, she was a friend of a friend. She wanted to move to ireland with her 2 children and i offered to help her. To cut a long story short, it was a nightmare, she drained us emotionally, upset our eldest daughter, her son bullied our youngest daughter, it was an awful experience.
The went back to the UK after 3 months, when they realised the irish government wouldn't hand out benefits to them. (Another long story)
She has now emailled me, saying her and her kids will be coming to visit for a week. Not staying with us, but in a cottage very close by.
What should I do?

GeorgeSalt
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Re: Being honest with people

Post: # 265925Post GeorgeSalt »

I think you're going to need to be honest with us and tell us how you feel at the prospect. I can imagine that it's making you feel uncomfortable based on the earlier incidents you've described, but you've not said what you think about the visit.

Assuming that you are not keen on a meeting, you have time to make other arrangements for that week before responding. Therefore allowing yourself to be honest about other commitments that week and avoid a confrontation.
Curently collecting recipes for The Little Book of Liqueurs..

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boboff
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Re: Being honest with people

Post: # 265930Post boboff »

Is georgesalt the visitor coming?

If so job done I would say!

If not I would email her back.

Hi Mrs Salt

Funny you coming to visit in the area, since you came last time I have taken a vow of truthfullness, I won't lie to anyone at all anymore, I thought I would let you know this in advance of you coming, so instead of one way help, support, and aid from me you can expect honesty and me doing what I think is right for me and my family.

To that end I hope you have a good time, but I have no wish to see you when you visit, as it was not a possitive experience for us last time.

Truthfull Regards


Mrs Potter
Millymollymandy wrote:Bloody smilies, always being used. I hate them and they should be banned.
No I won't use a smiley because I've decided to turn into Boboff, as he's turned all nice all of a sudden. Grumble grumble.
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Thomzo
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Re: Being honest with people

Post: # 265939Post Thomzo »

You say that she's not expecting to stay with you, but has she asked you to do anything with regard to them? If not then you can (probably) truthfully, e-mail her back and just say that you hope they have a lovely time. Don't offer to meet them, look out for them or do anything for them. If she has asked you to do anything just say simply that you aren't available that week (that's being honest as you aren't available for them). If they do turn up on your doorstep just be firm but say that you are busy and don't have the time to socialise. Don't let them in or be drawn into why, that's none of their business.

It'll be difficult as you'll feel like you're being impolite but if you keep it civil and don't get drawn into arguments, you'll be doing nothing wrong.

With luck you won't bump into them and it'll all go off without incident.

Zoe
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Potter's Farm
Barbara Good
Barbara Good
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Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2011 6:56 pm
Location: Adamstown, Co. Wexford, Ireland

Re: Being honest with people

Post: # 266218Post Potter's Farm »

Zoe, that sounds like good advice. In fact its all good advice. The person in question keeps asking if my eldest daughter has forgiven her yet....I should really say no, and that i don't blame her for with-holding forgiveness!!

Part of me wants to be completely honest with her and the other part thinks its just not worth the upset it would cause.

George Salt, the thought of the visit makes me feel worn out. I think i would spent my time biting my tongue and smiling politely, i'm getting (feeling) too old and tired to be doing that!!

Think I'll respond with a vague reply. Thanks for the advice guys x

oldfella
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Re: Being honest with people

Post: # 266221Post oldfella »

" Have a good time"

Regards Mrs Potter
I can't do great things, so I do little things with love.

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