rant sorry :-(

[crowsashes]

why is it, whenever i ask anyone for help the simply tell me to f**% off?

im at the end of my tether have not slept for days ( combination of a pretty old and rubbish bed, the heat and some allergy the doctor will not help with)

ive asked my mum to look after my lttle one for the afternoon ( so i can go hassle a doctor with out him stressing and running about as my drs dont allow puschairs) and shes simply said 'no' not untill the summer holidays dont think i can last that long tbh

ive asked repeatedly for just a night off here and there ( from everyone) and nobodys listening. wouldnt mind but the last timei had a night out with friends LO was 3mths old ( hes 3 in 2weeks time)

im in a trashed house ( council property and a previous owner who bodged the diy) its taking forever to sort out and i need some help but again every ones told me to basically get lost as they have better things to do.

im having to lock the LO up because of the state its in! no kitchen cupboards so hes getting hold of stuff he shouldnt. its not fair on him so hes getting bored.im cant find the energy to take him out daily ( allergy is draining me thought it was IBS but im reacting with itching as well as the ibs symptoms and its taking days to recover and get my energy back )

damn it i thought family were supposed to help when you needed it !


sorry i always seem to be complaining these days i promise you its not normal for me! im just really peed off and annoyed! exhaustion makes it worse:(

[Annpan]

I'm really sorry you are struggling. I hope you find someone who can lend a hand soon.


In the mean time feel free to rant in here, sometimes it feels better just to tell someone.

[StripyPixieSocks]

Sorry to hear you're struggling too

Just a quick question about the heat allergy, is it like mine where you get all rashy and you get tiny blisters all over your hands and arms in the sun / heat? If it is I can highly recommend some Cetirizine antihistamine and some germoline to stop the itching.

I really wish I could help out physically as I know what it's like to struggle like that but rant away, there's always people on ish to listen and give advice and virtual hugs too

[cooltrikerchick]

you must be at the end of your tether.....i know sometimes family can be the meanest people around.

the only thing i can think of is there a local creche sp? or mother and toddler group you can go ? even if you got to stay with littleman, at least the pressue is off you when he is playing with other little ones...

dont bottle nothing up... have a rant, as it will just build up, and it will seem 10 x worse..

big hugs....

[Moonwaves]

Oh, it sounds like you're having a really tough time. Sounds like life is being just a bit unfair at the moment. What a pity that you can't get any support from your family. Do you have any other friends around that could give you a hand for an hour or two or maybe your LO has a friend whose mum or dad could take him for a while in return for you taking theirs sometime? Sorry, don't have kids myself so only have potentially not very practical suggestions - do three-year-olds have friends already? :)

Hope ranting here will at least help. There is a 'vent' thread on another forum I'm a member of and it has on occasion saved my sanity when I'm having a bad day in work.

[prison break fan]

Can only offer sympathy!! Do hope you are feeling a bit better now, having a good old moan really does you good, and we have broad shoulders here!! I think family and friends sometimes don't understand how close to the edge one can get when stressed, but I hope it helps to rant here. pbf.

[theabsinthefairy]

Can only offer hugs and sympathy and no practical solutions, but rant away and get it off your chest. Is it possible to do a play date swap that will allow you to get to the docs?

[Thomzo]

Really sorry to hear that you're having problems. Have you tried speaking to a pharmacist about your allergy? They might be able to offer some advice until you can get to the doctor.

I can't believe that the council would put you in a house that's dangerous for your LO. Have you tried speaking to Citizens Advice to see if there is any pressure that can be put on the council?

Anyway, here is a big hug from me to let you know that you're not alone. It's always good to talk about things and we're here to listen.

Zoe

[crowsashes]

annoyingly i dont know what my allergy is. i get a random hive type rash that takes weeks to go and ill get sudden itching that wont stop for days. asked the doctor for an allergy test as all these symptoms along with the IBS symptoms is screaming at me some sort of food allergy.

with the house- the kitchen was put in by the previous owner - its an old style one with sliding doors that warped and become unusable when the pipe inthe bathroom burst because the sink wasnt fixed to the wall properly. both rooms are a health hazard. no tiles around the bath easy enough job it would have been if the plaster wasnt so f**** from years of not having tiles! so its not something i can do myself. kitchen is just awful im tempted to rip it out and do it my self as the council / housing ass are refurbishing the houses but it can take up to five years and are not doing anything to them other than certain repairs, so im having to live with broken stuff . ive been trying to get info out of them for a rough time when it is going to be fixed and they are being evasive.

ive been tempted to move but iwont get an exchange with it like this ( who would willing take it on unless desperate!) and simply cant afford private or the issue of 6mth tenancies!

[yvette]

Oh god, have lived in a grotty house myself and I know how it drains you - everything is just such hard work when its in such a bad state and trying to keep things clean and safe for little ones is exhausting. I remember crying for hours after my little boy got a huge splinter in his foot from the ancient uncarpeted floorboards - think I howled louder than he did!!
So sorry to hear that your mum won't help - have you told her how desperate you are? Sounds like you will be really ill if you don't get a break, maybe you need to tell her that? (Sorry, you probably already have).
Don't know if this is any help, but for ages we had a makeshift 'freestanding' kitchen made up of old chests of drawers and cupboards after the old fitted kitchen literally fell to bits. We just used any old furniture, not proper kitchen units at all, but at least it was stuff we could clean and shut things away in - very important as the previous occupant had left us a thriving colony of mice!!

[grahamhobbs]

Sorry can't help on babysitting front but have you tried writing to your MP and local Councillor about your housing condition? Send them regular emails until you get a response. I'd stress health and safety issues, as well as insanitary conditions you and toddler are living in.

[Susie]

Crowsashes, I hope you're feeling a bit better

I agree with Zoe, try the CAB (also try your local councillor like Graham Hobbs says). Sometimes housing associations become a bit more communicative when a third party is involved. I used to work for an organisation that did legal aid (although we won't go there...) and just getting someone else involved sometimes made all the difference for clients. Not fair perhaps, but there you go!

I can't help with your rash but I do get IBS symptoms and it can leave me washed out for days - are your attacks like that? I've never been able to pin it down to one thing, but I think it makes it worse if I eat too much sugar. Also when my sinuses are playing up (hayfever). I know that sounds a bit odd.

I hope things get a bit better for you. If I was anywhere near I'd babysit for you, I always think your little one sounds quite a character (in a really good way!)

[herbalholly]

Maybe I can help? I'm not so far away (Newton Abbot) depends where you are near Plymouth I suppose. Anyway if you think that's close enough to be useful then maybe we could work something out. I warn you that I am 8 months pregnant though so wouldn't be as spritely in a play park as I would usually be!

Hope something works out for you. x

[crowsashes]

@ herbalholly thats a really generous offer :-) at 8mths pregnant he will run circles round you and then some and STILL have the energy to jump up and down on his bed for an hour!

ive actually spent the past 2 days writing a list of everything that is wrong and its coming up to 50 problems most in the kitchen so i can go in prepared when i try and get an inspector round to fix things for me.

im tempted to put a bet on how 'helpful' and how quickly ill get things done ill probably win enough to get a private contractor in to do the lot!