answering emails

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paul123456
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answering emails

Post: # 171771Post paul123456 »

Hello there ,

I was just wondering , am I a moaning idiot ? or is it not me ?

I frequently send emails to people around europe , friends , buisness people , all sorts .
They don't respond to my emails the same day , is that normal ? or should I give them more time ?
They don't respond to my emails in the same week or even later ? is this a normal thing .
They don't respond at all , ?

The mails I send are just normal subjects about the family and the on goings , nothing silly , just things
you would tell people by phone , alas the phone company charges high here , so we mail things.

But the response time is long , days , weeks , even if they respond .
I was thinking is this normal ,Iwould think that the availability of internet and its speed , people would react quickly.

Is it me ? or is it the people I mail .Loads of people seem to find it very interesting to be very very busy ,and have very little time
to spend on their social contacts .
Slaves of the treadmill.
So now i'm doubting , is it me or them ?

let me know on your experiences and/or ideas .

regards ,

Paul

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Re: answering emails

Post: # 171774Post MuddyWitch »

Frankly, if these people are your friends, I think it's rude of them not to respond. However, not everyone has daily access to their email. (My daughter could only check hers weekly untill recently, for example, even though she works at a pc, her firm won't allow personal usage.)

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Re: answering emails

Post: # 171775Post Thomzo »

Hmmm, I'd give up if I were you. I don't always answer e-mails the same day but I usually try to answer within the same week.

I don't tend to bother responding to fowarded jokes or those daft "you are my best/most beautiful/silliest friend/angel/etc" trash, but if someone takes the time and trouble to type up a message then I do try to respond.

But I also have 'friends' who don't reply, ever, at all. I give them two goes then give up. They obviously don't think as much of me as I do (did) of them.

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Re: answering emails

Post: # 171778Post paul123456 »

Hello there ,

yes , it is rude not to reply ,considering that the acsess to the computer is there .
That's what I've been thinking of doing , just forgetting about them , but I always like to keep people informed .

But then again if they dont respond , yeah why bother .
Private friends as to the birth of a new son ......I would think thats some thing to answer to .
And business people who ask me to do a job and them dont respond to my mails , to 1 person i sent four
and still no reaction .

I think its a shame that people dont take the effort to spend a few seconds on others ,
is it ignornce , or selfishness , or are they slave of modern times ?

makes me sad ,

regards ,'

paul

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Re: answering emails

Post: # 171784Post StripyPixieSocks »

Good lord, I'm one of those people who don't reply for months at a time... why? because I have nothing to say really!

I have a friend who sometimes we mail once a month sometimes not for 8 months at a time, I still love him to bits and we're still good friends we just have nothing to say and nor do I expect a response the same or next day I just very much enjoy his e-mails when I get them!

Maybe they are busy with their family or like me suffer from depression and don't feel like talking / mailing anyone or think they have anything to say of interest.

Yes the internet is instant but no one should be putting pressure on people to respond instantly just because they can... just be thankful when they do!

Just because they don't reply to your e-mail for a few weeks doesn't always mean they're not thinking about you.

I'm just glad I don't have friends who expect what you guys above expect because they'd be very disappointed :?

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Re: answering emails

Post: # 171795Post Rosendula »

I think it depends on the email.

Chain mail-type emails: I don't respond to these - they get binned.

Jokes: If someone sends me a joke, I don't respond immediately, but next time I have a joke to pass on I'll send it to them.

Business emails: before LO was born, I worked in a resource centre. I responded as soon as I possibly could to all correspondence, whether it be by mail, email or phone. Others who worked there didn't always bother. As they were often 'out in the field', I was the one who took the calls from angry people who had been ignored. It really got my back up.
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Ooh! Sorry, I'm ranting :oops:

But back on topic, if someone sent me an email announcing the birth of a baby, then even if I wasn't interested, even if I didn't like that person, even if I couldn't remember who they were, I would still reply immediately to congratulate them.

No, it's not you, Paul. It's them. And they're not worth it. You may as well stop wasting your time. If they're interested, they'll miss you and will seek you out after a while. Friends come and go. Don't be sad about it, just remember those who are in your life, properly, right now, and continue to seek out new friendships whenever the opportunities arise. :hugish:

AND........ congratulations on the new arrival. :wav:
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Re: answering emails

Post: # 171797Post snapdragon »

Depends on how the last email ends - often I may get the impression that they're busy and will get back when they have time. When writing letters you have more time with postal time in between, I guess if everyone answered all emails the same day then you could be sending emails to all your contacts on a daily basis, could be tiring and sometimes people have no news.
If they were to answer "Thank you for your email it was nice to hear the news" would you feel obliged to reply again immediately?
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Re: answering emails

Post: # 171812Post Millymollymandy »

I'm a bit like SPS but I feel that if I write to people during the year I wouldn't have anything to write to them about in my Xmas letter as we don't do exciting things like have multiple holidays etc etc like some people. As it is I struggle to find anything of interest to write about to my friends and family at Xmas cos all I have to talk about is the garden, chooks and ducks. :dontknow: Then again all they write about is their childrens' or grandchilderens' achievements so we equally bore the pants off each other. :lol: The main thing is to keep in touch at Xmas and if they don't bother with that after two years then they're off the list. :mrgreen:

I respond more to people who I actually see so if we are planning a meet up or know of some interesting local info to pass on then that warrants fairly immediate response.
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Re: answering emails

Post: # 171952Post wulf »

If I don't respond to an email immediately, it often ends up slipping down the inbox and getting neglected for days or weeks. It can be difficult to keep up, especially if you have a lot of people to correspond with.

That is one of the reasons I started blogging - it means that all those who are interested in knowing that I'm alive and well (and getting a sense of my latest enthusiasms) have somewhere to look without me trying to regularly write to each of them individually.

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Re: answering emails

Post: # 171958Post Green Aura »

I think it's just not as important to some people as others. I often wait until I've got something worth writing before responding to friends' emails, although I respond to business mail straight away.

You need to decide whether they're friends you want to keep in contact with, irrespective of how quickly they respond, or not.

I'm not sure I'd want to do business with people who don't respond, maybe you should look elsewhere.
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Re: answering emails

Post: # 171960Post Cloud »

There are some people and some e-mail I do reply to immediately, but others may never get a reply, even if from family or friends. It does depend a little on the style of the e-mail. If it's written like a letter, or is long and windy or just chatty I'll read it and plan to reply one day (but sometimes forget). If it's short and asks a specific question, then I'll reply immediately (even if only to say I'll get back to them later).

If I'm sent jokes or e-card I don't generally reply. I don't like to encourage them. Is that bad?

My mother does sometimes phone to ask if I've read her e-mail, or seen the photos she's sent. I must admit I do feel a little guilty if it's been more than a couple of days since she sent them, but in my partial defence I do tend to read my e-mail just before going of to work, and don't have the time to reply - then ashamedly I forget about them.
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Re: answering emails

Post: # 172153Post Stonehead »

In my case, I can get 50-80 emails a day. I work the croft full-time and am extremely busy at certain times of year. I have two boys and a dog to keep an eye on. I have domestic chores to do. I write a blog and respond to comments on that. I post on Twitter, I visit this forum and one other. And I occasionally need to shower as well!

So, no, I don't reply to most emails the day they arrive. On busy days, I don't even read most of the emails.

I don't see the imperative to respond instantly, or even with a couple of hours. I have a life. I have my own things to do. I will reply as and when I can.

I'm the same with phones. I don't have a mobile and I don't bother answering the land line if I'm doing something more important.

I appreciate it is now deemed strange not to carry a mobile phone around constantly, not to reply to texts/emails/Tweets/blog comments/forum posts instantly, and not to be available "now".

I find it sad to see how many people get genuinely frustrated, concerned, worried or even angry if they do not receive an instant reply. We used to be able to wait a few days for a reply to a letter—even a few weeks if you had relatives, friends or business contacts in other countries.

Now, most people can can barely wait a few minutes without breaking into a sweat and ranting about the person who hasn't replied—"don't they care?", "how rude is that?", "what are they thinking of?", "are they okay?" etc.

Personally, I refuse to be available 24/7 to everyone and his dog who thinks instant communication means instant access to me whenever it suits them. I am not going to have communication forced upon me by contact obsessives.

If people think it's rude and curmudgeonly, tough. If they start worrying because I haven't been in touch for 27 minutes, three hours, two days or three weeks, tough.
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Re: answering emails

Post: # 172157Post red »

I reply to work emails straight away - or when I'm next in work. but friends etc.. no.. unless there is an urgent answer required, i write when i have the time. I would however, reply to big news such as the birth of a baby straight away.

When my friend had a sudden bereavement, and i heard the news, i dropped a quick email, saying i would write more later, which i did. -so an immediate response.. then a more thoughful one later.

I have conversations with friends that take months - but that works for us.

My brother will send a reply straight away. and it will be my entire email copied back to me with 'yes' put at the end.. I'd rather he didn't bother, and waited until he had something to say.

I do carry a mobile, and answer it straight away, as it may be my son. I dont always answer the land line cos i might be busy, but i check who it was/message in case its important.
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Re: answering emails

Post: # 172229Post Martina »

Millymollymandy wrote:As it is I struggle to find anything of interest to write about to my friends and family at Xmas cos all I have to talk about is the garden, chooks and ducks. :dontknow: Then again all they write about is their childrens' or grandchilderens' achievements so we equally bore the pants off each other. :lol:
I actually laughed out loud when I read that. It's so true. The real fabric of most long-term friendships is a reliable supply of being equally and mutually bored. :mrgreen:

That made my very early morning,MMM!

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Re: answering emails

Post: # 172233Post Martina »

Stonehead wrote:In my case, I can get 50-80 emails a day. I work the croft full-time and am extremely busy at certain times of year. I have two boys and a dog to keep an eye on. I have domestic chores to do. I write a blog and respond to comments on that. I post on Twitter, I visit this forum and one other. And I occasionally need to shower as well!

So, no, I don't reply to most emails the day they arrive. On busy days, I don't even read most of the emails.

I don't see the imperative to respond instantly, or even with a couple of hours. I have a life. I have my own things to do. I will reply as and when I can.

I'm the same with phones. I don't have a mobile and I don't bother answering the land line if I'm doing something more important.

I appreciate it is now deemed strange not to carry a mobile phone around constantly, not to reply to texts/emails/Tweets/blog comments/forum posts instantly, and not to be available "now".

I find it sad to see how many people get genuinely frustrated, concerned, worried or even angry if they do not receive an instant reply. We used to be able to wait a few days for a reply to a letter—even a few weeks if you had relatives, friends or business contacts in other countries.

Now, most people can can barely wait a few minutes without breaking into a sweat and ranting about the person who hasn't replied—"don't they care?", "how rude is that?", "what are they thinking of?", "are they okay?" etc.

Personally, I refuse to be available 24/7 to everyone and his dog who thinks instant communication means instant access to me whenever it suits them. I am not going to have communication forced upon me by contact obsessives.

If people think it's rude and curmudgeonly, tough. If they start worrying because I haven't been in touch for 27 minutes, three hours, two days or three weeks, tough.
I agree with most of what you said here Stonehead. I find it interesting how a lot of this techno stuff is a real threat to autonomy--which is the very thing they were supposed to give us. Get out of the office, the house and still be able to get things done when and where you want. Its seems "where and when you want" has become "everywhere and at anytime someone/anyone calls/emails/text or whatever in your general direction". I don't get the point of having these devices of "choice" and choosing to be enslaved by them. :dontknow: I don't have a cell phone. If you want to get in touch with me and I am not there to answer the phone, then leave a message. That is obligation enough for me. I will call you back when I am available to give you the time and/or attention you need/want. As for email, I check it everyday and answer that day if necessary because I don't like things to add up. As for what I respond to, it depends on who is sending the email and for what purpose. However, if I got an announcement of someone having a new baby, I would definitely respond to that one as soon as I got it.

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