Daft quotes from being ish

[Andy Hamilton]

When eating cherries from a tree the other day Someone asked if they were poisionous. I told them that were not and of course if they were I would not be eating them. This seemed to shock them. They started to jeer a little and I said it was a much cheaper resource than T***o - ie free. So then the classic quote that I will be using until the day I die came out.

"You go ahead mate, you eat from trees".

Flabbergasted I asked them where they thought apples came from. I then had to make a bit of a sharp exit as obviously this cased offense and the jibbing got a little personal.

Other daft things I have heard.

"I shop local, I go to the local Asda"

and one of my favorites when discovering that myself and Dave are twins -

"It must be like looking in the mirror...........twice". ?!?

[Russian Doll]

from my neighbours when they found out i grow potatoes


what ya going to do with them then

[the.fee.fairy]

'Those carrots...they've got mud on them'
'Why don't you just go to t***co's'
'You're like a little old lady, what with you knitting and patchwork'
'Why would you want to make things out of old jeans - most people just throw them away' (said with a snort)
'You're a bit odd you are'

[eccentric_emma]

I get the 'you're a little odd you are' often. OR 'why cant you just be normal?' to which i am always flabbergasted! whats more normal? eating from trees or buying something you can have for free?!!!

[Milims]

I had a classic from my mother the other day having presented her with 1/2 dozen home grown eggs, a jar of my kethcup, a jar of jam from foraged plums, a loaf of home baked bread and a bottle of elderflower cordial - "well I never thought I'd see the day that you would do this - you hated getting your hands dirty when you were a little girl!"
Another of her good ones was "will you ever get a real job?" when I told her I had landed a job as an electrician on a building site!

[Gert]

Not a quote as such but made me laugh.

A gentleman phoned me about getting some laying hens, then came to visit with his little son in tow.

After a few minutes in the field the confused looking little boy suddenly pipes up and , pointing at a fine looking Welsummer, says

"that's the sort of chicken I want dad"

The boy has a good eye for a hen , thinks I, until he follows it up with...

"yes it's that sort I want , ones you can cuddle , not that other sort you get in T**co"

[ajs88]

that's quite cute, did he get a chicken in the end

i grow stuff on the balcony and the neighbours seem to really like it, the lady at the ends says that it cheers the place up and that she really enjoys it, the guy next has recently put a tomato plant in his empty window sill pot. and the older polish couple just after mine just ignore it, i understand that it does take up a bit of room and there the only neighbours that have to walk past (through) it, they also get barked at by dog as they do so, but there still polite enough not to complain which is very nice. they seem to be more bothered at my and the OH living in sin then were our tomatoes come from

[Gert]

that's quite cute, did he get a chicken in the end

He did indeed

[invisiblepiper]

I'm weird - I must be as I have been told so many a time!
Was very proud of my 17 year old daughter the other day - she picks up gorgeous - often classic clothing from vintage and charity shops (being a size 8 helps). She wore a 1930s evening/night gown to the prom which we'd picked up on a 'Charity shopping' trip to Glasgow. (£30 - compared to her friends £160 + outfits. The guy she liked asked where she got it - so she told him. He turned up his nose in disgust - yeuw -" second hand".
She's going out with his mate now

[Millymollymandy]

good one, can't really imagine finding an oven ready bird very cuddly.

[oldfella]

"Don't you wash it first" "Why " I ask, biting into a apple i had just picked from the tree, "well what about the chemicals" "what chemicals" "the ones you spray on to make them grow" I don't spray chemicals on them " " Oh they grow on their own do they"

[boboff]

Daft as in bloody irritating, Dad quotes.


"Oh, you're living the Good Life are you?" " Which one are you then?"

"Lidl had onions for 20p a lb, hardly worth the effort is it"

"Don't you like shop Jam then"

"Those lettuce meant to be there then?"

"suppose the Cat and Chicken shit helps keep the weeds down"

[Annpan]

I know I shouldn't laugh but....

I tell people we have chickens for eggs.... "oh, how many?" they ask
"two" I say
"oh, one of each?" they ask
"one of each what?" I say
"a boy and a girl"
"no, 2 girls" says I
"And you still get eggs"

Every time, without fail..... How many people missed day one in biology?

[Gert]

I know I shouldn't laugh but....

I tell people we have chickens for eggs.... "oh, how many?" they ask
"two" I say
"oh, one of each?" they ask
"one of each what?" I say
"a boy and a girl"
"no, 2 girls" says I
"And you still get eggs"

Every time, without fail..... How many people missed day one in biology?

a classic

[invisiblepiper]

My Mum -
' those flowers in your window box just look like lettuce.....'