If only I did more.....

[Andy Hamilton]

After reading Annpans post, "We love what you are doing here" I got to thinking. Yes, a lot of people do find this lifestyle odd, but I find myself apologizing for things all the time. A trait that some of the others that I have met through this forum suffer from too.

At the moment I have a few litres of homebrew kicking around and there is some japanese knotweed downstairs ready to be made into a crumble. I still have not bought anything new this year and have only once gone to a supermarket (on a stag weekend, with little other choice). Myself and a few others have started up a shop selling fairtrade tea, coffee, secondhand books and now wholefoods - So I am even part of a group that is helping others step away from the supermarket. But (and here is the but), we (at home not the shop) are down to the last bag of beans from the freezer and we are only harvesting broccoli from the allotment as the moment.

Whenever I sit down to dinner at this time of year I can't help but say to myself, "If only I did more.". Is this lifestyle that addictive that I will always be saying that right up to the point when I loose the ish? (i.e. become totally self sufficient). Don't get me wrong I am very happy with this lifestyle it just I can't help thinking, if only I did more.

[Moonwaves]

Okay, trying this reply again as the first one seems to have disappeared.

I do think the ish life is a bit addictive. I'm going through a very severe bout of "I want my life to be my work!" at the moment (possibly something to do with not much liking where I'm working but needing to not rock the boat for financial reasons for at least another couple of years). Living independently is a bit of a heady feeling I think and it always leaves you wanting more. :)

[Milims]

After reading Annpans post, [url=http://www.selfsufficientish.com/forum/ ... =4&t=13434]" and have only once gone to a supermarket (on a stag weekend, with little other choice).

Shouldn't that be three times! Don't forget Chris found you loitering outside the Coop and you came to Sai****rys with me remember - I was embarrassed because I threw some frozen fish into the trolley without reading the label, but the felt much better when you bought a Whispa! But don't forget, as you told me at the time - or rather slightly afterwards (make that about 2am and a few raspberry vodkas later when I confessed to feeling bad!) we aint perfect but we do what we can! The fact is we try and we care and we incorporate it into our daily lives - which is more than can be said for many.
One of the big things that I've learned form being here is to take it in steps - take on one bit at a time, get used to it and move to the next bit. Being here is also a fabby place to learn new tricks and feel safe about trying them out. I think that part of the joy, and perhaps the obsession, is in the trial and error and the research, putting things into action - no matter how small - and not being afraid. For example, just think how many supermarkets are now encouraging people to bring their own bags. Unheard of 5 years ago - they couldn't wait to give away the plastic. But we are trend setters. They may think us a bit odd now - but give it a few years and others will follow.
We don't need to feel guilty about what we can't do but rather relish what we can and grow from it.
Do you really have visions about being totally self sufficient? I don't. It's much more fun to keep trying - after all the definition of perfect is the finished article - and I ain't finished yet!

[hamster]

I feel the same sometimes too. I had to give myself a stern talking-to last summer as I was heading for meltdown, trying to learn beekeeping and spinning, on top of taking on an allotment and everything else I already did.

I think this kind of life does tend to snowball... You're always meeting or reading about inspiring people who are doing exciting things that you just have to try. And I also think it's a trait common to people who have a drive to do things for themselves, or who are driven to do things for environmental/ethical reasons, to always push yourself to do more. 'If I care so much where my veg comes from, why not my clothes? Why not my furniture? Why not.....? Why can't I make my own cheese? Could I build myself a new kettle?' and then you either have to achieve total self-sufficiency (whether this is possible or desirable is another discussion entirely!!), send yourself mad trying, or draw a line and say, 'Enough. I cannot weave my own knickers out of hemp!' and sit down and have a glass of home-made wine to toast what you have achieved.

I'm currently re-reading Jon Seymour's The Fat of the Land which is very much: 'Well, we just wanted somewhere to live and grow a few vegetables... but it was such a pain to have to go and get milk everyday, so we got a cow... then we had so much milk that we couldn't use, so we got pigs... then you have to preserve loads of meat and veg for the winter...' and he's always saying how much he wants to do this or that and never has the time.

[TheGoodEarth]

Being a newbie I can assure you that from what I have read most of you are doing extremely well in trying to live an ish life. You certainly put me to shame. So a big congrats

I am very keen to ramp up my ish activities (after the house is sold) and if I get anywhere near the level you guys are at then I will be well chuffed.

[jim]

Dear Andy,

Always remember that what we want to achieve is on the horizon, and no matter how far we travel the horizon is always moving away at the same speed as we approach it. BUT the journey is worth it.

(Did I really spout philosophical cr@p then?)

Never mind; if we all did what we could then the world would be a better place. (Oh no, here I go again, better shut up.)

Love and Peace
Jim

[bryony]

I quite enjoyed your "philosophical cr@p" there jim! so much so i'll add to it. My favourite thing to tell myself when however hard I try, there's still more I could/should be doing comes from Robert Pirsig:
"To live for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top" (scribbled on a scruffy post-it above my desk!)

it reminds me to enjoy the day-to-day, and the little efforts and differences we make! (it also gives me an excuse to put off my dissertation.... not so helpful!)

right, i'll get back to work then!

[Annpan]

Here's another - It's not about the destination, it's the journey.

[red]

I'm always kicking myself for not getting everything done. I've been under the weather a bit lately and thats slowing me down - and then i curse myself for not doing more.

today i realised as well as doing home ed with my son, I washed and line dried two loads of washing, checked the sheep and hens and collected eggs, and gave more water to the sheep, watched some chicks hatch, set up the brooder box, made a quiche, and marinated and baked some chicken wings (which were previously cut and saved from whole chickens as i prefer to butcher them myself.. its cheaper..) stacked some logs and dragged a big branch out of the field, checked the sheep again, sowed some seeds, watered the greenhouse, spent some time observing pond life, and I have just finished working at my very part time job as a bookkeeper. Now im going to sit down and knit..
yet i felt I did not achieve much today... must try harder....

[Ellendra]

Today I managed to plant 6 seeds, and considered that an accomplishment.

Its all a matter of perspective.

Also, during one of my dizzy spells, I somehow managed to fall WITHOUT spilling my glass!

(Don't ask me how)

[JulieSherris]

It's that curse of the human race again - dissatisfaction.....

Muddywitch & I were talking about this last night, & even if you're living an Ish life, the affliction is still there.
People always want MORE.... in whatever it is they are involved with at the time - the bigger memory in the PC, the faster PC, the better operating system, the tower case with more fans, oh! and lights..... the bigger faster car, the better sofa than next door.... the better games console, the bigger cauliflowers, the nicer shed, a bigger lottie plot, see what I mean?

It's a fault within ourselves where we always try & push boundaries within our lives - we try doing one thing & that becomes the norm, it's now incorporated into our lives, so we move onto the next thing, and so on and so on...

For some, it's about technology - for others it's the home they create, for Ishers it's the greenness & economy of our lifestyle.
It's not a bad thing, as long as we all remember to take baby steps - that way the 'new' life changes soon become normal & manageable.

2 years ago, I lived in a 14 room ex guest house in blackpool with a 12 foot yard & some pots & window boxes out the front.... for many reasons, we moved to Ireland - wow, I had a garden again, so last year I had an acre of grass, with 2 little herb beds & then dug out 6 strips of soil, 8 ft by 1 ft & grew some peas & beans.... but it still didn't feel 'good enough'... then we were out one day & I found myself looking through a book in a shop - called The Self-Sufficientish Bible.... (you might have heard of it!)
2 weeks later I bought it.....
Within 4 weeks we had viewed this house with the thought of growing veg, keeping chooks, geese, other livestock.... well, you all know the rest!!
And is it still good enough? Umm.... no, I still want more, I still want to DO more..... but baby steps - I'm rather glad that finances tell us to slow down, else I'd be racing around trying to get it all done & would be heading for a meltdown right about now!!

Keep it up though Andy - do you realise how many lives you & Dave have changed with your book & this site??
Every time I suggest new things to hubby, he says, 'is this one of the twins ideas?' - so be warned, it's all your fault!!
And thank you - very much - you've made a middle aged lady very happy indeed!

[jim]

Dear Andy,

(Not in philosophic mode but on a practical level) I had to re-read your starter entry because it was so alien to my understanding that I didn't consciously register it first time round but you did write Japanese knotweed crumble .... Is it edible? Is it nutritous? What does it taste like?
Why are we here? Is the meaning of life 42? (Oh no! Started philosophizing again!)

Love and Peace
Jim

[jim]

Dear Bryony,

You silver tongued flatterer! Don't praise me or I'll only get worse. Back to your dissertation at once young lady!!!!

Love and Peace
Jim

[Andy Hamilton]

I guess I opened up this thread as more of a talking point expecting that many of you would feel the same that there is just not enough time to do everything. Actually it has made me feel a little more at easy with the idea.

Milms - Only once this year at a supermarket, I should have said. I made the effort last year to go less and this year to try and give them up completely. being part of a wholefood selling co-op does help this though. I do have visions of being fully selfsufficient, well sort of, I don't think I would want to do it on my own and would certianly swap things. I will no doubt stay a little ish whatever my situation ends up being as I know I will still want to watch TV or a film or even buy the odd thing.

As for knotweed crumble Jim, have a look at my blog...

JulieSherris - I think you are the sort of person we had in mind when writing the book so obviously it worked! It does give me a great well of pride to know we are helping folk like yourself (even if hubby does not always approve :) )

[JulieSherris]

JulieSherris - I think you are the sort of person we had in mind when writing the book so obviously it worked! It does give me a great well of pride to know we are helping folk like yourself (even if hubby does not always approve :) )

Ah, but Andy.... I never said hubby didn't approve..... it's just that he knows he's lost the battle before it starts - if it's one of your ideas, then that's how it works... and no other way will do, so any idea HE has got is outta the window

Actually, he has several good ideas... and then he has ideas that are just plain crazy for an engineer & SO not practical
He fenced off my 'allotment patch'... and put in a fence off the path.... BUT the path comes from the opposite side of the garden, so to get in a wheelbarrow, I would have had to walk right around the house to get to it......
So now I have TWO gates..... one for wheelbarrow duties & one for 'personnel access'..... hmmm... thank goodness he's back to work next tuesday - 3 days of peace, bliss!