Guilt

[MKG]

I'm filling in the old pond. I've dug a new one on the other side of the garden. It's a lot smaller, but it looks very welcoming. But oh no - what do I get? I get a couple of dozen frogs on the borders of the old pond just sitting there and looking at me. Boy, can a frog LOOK at you. I feel terrible. I'm having nightmares. What should I do? I've considered eating them, but that would make me feel worse. I caught 'em, took 'em over to the new pond and explained the advantages of a new start in life. But no - they want me to feel guilty. And it works.

Are there any frog psychologists here? By that, of course, I don't mean French - no, the real amphibian thing. I need help!!

Mike

[Mrs H]

Awww poor froggies!!! Lol I'm sure they'll get over it and soon enjoy there new home!! Spoken by a true frog expert.......not!! Xx

[baldybloke]

If they go on hunger strike then you will be plagued with slugs.

[boboff]

You could go to the Library and get out a load of appropriate literature on Change, and moving home, and coping with Infantacide, but I bet you the frogs will tell you that they have "readit"

[JulieSherris]

This is quite a coincidence Mike!!

I have a friend (Patti) who works in a bank not far from you & she was telling me last night that a young frog went to see her for a loan to fix up his new pad after being evicted from his old place.

When she asked him if he had any collateral, he handed her a small white elephant.

"This is a very unusual form of collateral." said Patricia. "I'll have to check with our bank manager to see if it's ok."

Patricia goes to the Manager and says, "There's a frog named Kermit Jagger out there who want's a home loan and this white elephant is all he is offering for collateral. What should I do?"

The bank manager takes the small white elephant and after carefully examining it hands it back to Patricia and says,

"It's a nick-knack Patti Black, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Sorry, sorry!!

[Green Aura]

Get your coat Sherris! You made me spit my coffee out

This might help you get a jump start on your problem, Mike


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFRPT__blxU

[Mrs H]

You guys r hilarious!!! I can always be sure of a laugh when I log on here!! Xxx

[JulieSherris]

Haha, I'm sure it's not nice to make light of Mike's problems.... but it's funny, so why stop??

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

Geddit, Geddit??

[MKG]

No frogs or tadpoles were harmed in the making of this episode.

The producers would like it to be known that this story, whilst it contains factual elements, is designed as an entertainment and not as a historical documentary.

Well - it worked for "The Tudors"!

Anyway, I've just been up there and recited Julie's joke within frog earshot. Within two minutes, there was a line of frogs crossing the lawn towards the new pond. The first one across was carrying a white flag. Thanks Julie - I knew I could count on you

Mike

[JulieSherris]

It was toadily my pleasure, Mike!

I had the book of The Tudors - Reddit!

I nearly dated a frog once, against my wishes though - he jumped to the wrong conclusion!

What do baby frogs play at school break? Jumping jacks and leapfrog!

OK, I'll stop now.......

[JulieSherris]

Ooo... there is one more joke regarding frogs in the throat & toads in the hole - but as this is a family forum, I will refrain.....

[Mrs H]

Julie don't stop, ur crap jokes r killin me!! And Mike now I hav a visual image of ur little kermits marching across the garden with there stuff on there backs!! Lol ;) xx

[MKG]

OK - I dug the hole. I explained, several times, to the frogs. They didn't seem to take too much notice of me, apart from the protest march.

But today (oh - yesterday now), the frogs' new home was completed. Finally, I got a liner. The local pond shop had every single proprietary size in stock EXCEPT (wouldn't you know it?) the one I needed. However, that was yesterday - no, two days ago now - but 24 hours later (so is that yesterday?) they rang up to say they'd got it.

The underlay is in. The liner is in. The water is in . I went to look at it after a couple of glasses of freezer bottom wine, but it was dark and I was faced with a deep black murky pool. I think that's a good sign.

Frogopolis is complete. I felt I had to tell you all that.

Mike

@GA - you know, I've watched that Freudian frog a few times now, in a puzzled manner. Only tonight did it dawn on me to put the bloody headphones on. I really wish I hadn't

[Green Aura]

@GA - you know, I've watched that Freudian frog a few times now, in a puzzled manner. Only tonight did it dawn on me to put the bloody headphones on. I really wish I hadn't

[MKG]

Wildlife moves fast, doesn't it? The pond has been filled for less than 24 hours. Already, it has a small population of water beetles.

Mike