cunning insults

[Milims]

I really am underwhelmed!

[Thomzo]

I had just made a comment that wasn't quite as brilliant as usual when a friend said to my boyfriend "I take it you are going out with her for her looks".

Cheers
Zoe

[mumzy]

That was so funny, I nearly forgot you were fat!!

[Rosendula]

A really nice lady on the management committee of the organization I used to work for once said to me,
"It's not rich people who are clever with money. It's poor people who are clever with money."
A few days later she delegated the book-keeping to me.

I'm sure it wasn't really a cunning insult, more of an accidental one.

[Cloud]

We used to have a lecturer who started sentences with

"As every schoolgirl knows,..."

Usually just at the point of introducing some statement we had to take on total faith. However, I find it makes quite a useful insult when used just after having to answer some banal question in a meeting.

[Big Al]

There was a put down on the tv programme Eureka the other night. For those that don't know Eureka is a town that is inhabited by geniuses and a few normal people like the sherrif.

In this recent programme all the scientist super genius type people were regressing to their childhoods and one said to the sherrif...

now I know what you feel like all the time..

[Cligereen]

Churchill once said to somebody ( can't remember who)

" He is a very modest man with much to be modest about"

I thought that was a nice subtle one and I must admit to having used it myself.

[Gem]

Can't remember where I heard them but must have heard them somewhere, possibly some blackadder -

I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement.

A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind

[sleepyowl]

Churchill once said to somebody ( can't remember who)

" He is a very modest man with much to be modest about"

I thought that was a nice subtle one and I must admit to having used it myself.

Clement Attlee

[tizzy]

When I was little and slept over at my nans house she would tuck me in and say,

'well goodnight and good riddance'

and give me a kiss.
I thought it was a term of endearment for years

[suziq]

today on the train, when a small boy said i had odd eyes...... his mum said


i'm sorry, he's autistic, states the obvious!

[Karen_Grace]

After I had moved a partition wall over to make myself a small room to put my pottery kiln in, my husband said to me "Well, you always could make something out of nothing" At the time I felt quite chuffed, but on reflection, I'm not so sure now! ( Ex husband now)

[Karen_Grace]

When I was little and slept over at my nans house she would tuck me in and say,

'well goodnight and good riddance'

and give me a kiss.
I thought it was a term of endearment for years

My mom always used to say

"Nighty nighty, fleedy bitey, buggy eat'y all'y up'y"

It's a wonder I didn't have nightmares!

[tizzy]

I could give you reams of unwitting backhanders from my middle child, she still does it today but here's one of my favourites;

''Oh Mum, she's ever so popular, all the men were fornicating over her''

...penny dropped....'I think you might mean fawning love'

[southeast-isher]

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception - Groucho Marks